Some Practical Thoughts on Depression, How I Walked Out: Personal Story

On this post I’m talking about my personal story on depression, and how I managed to overcome. Republished from 9th Sep 2018

Let’s get started,

Severe depression. That was the results.

And the truth is, I never chose to get depressed and I can’t wish anyone to get where I am or where I have been.

But you’re a very strong guy Mr. KP, that’s what most will say. Allow me say this, the belief that depression is a sign of weakness is a harmful misconception. If you think about it, it doesn’t make much logical sense. 😕

Mind you, it takes a lot of courage to accept even to yourself the fact that you’re struggling and even go ahead to seek help or share with someone.

For those of you who haven’t experienced either depression or anxiety, I urge you to realize that when a person talks to you about their anxieties or their depression that they are actually confiding in you. Listen to them without judging 😒

That’s the best thing you can do: listen. And it is not a one-day affair, it can take a few hours, a few days, weeks, months or even years. Thanks to friends who listened to me all through – consistent and never judging. You’ve listened to me and cared all through. I sincerely value you 🙏🏾

Friends, depression & anxiety are illnesses too. The sad part is it is so hard for one to know they are suffering. It took me more than a year. Sometimes there is a cure, sometimes there is only treatment. It is so similar to physical illnesses and injuries, yet no one will tell you to just snap out of a coma or asks if you’ve tried not having the flu. Just because I’ve been depressed does not mean I have been lazy, and the reason for an anxiety attack cannot always be explained. 🙆🏾‍

Today I’m better because I’ve risen above what has been tormenting me or at least I’ve found a workable solution. I had to deliberately put this cycle to an end, and it was not something that I was to do in the future – the journey has started.

But I’m bitter too 😒😒

To help you understand, let me share a personal story.
👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾

Back 14 months ago when I learned that things were getting out of hand, I resigned from church leadership and all committees that I had membership. Everyone thought the reason was for me to concentrate on business, it wasn’t. But somehow, I used it as an excuse🏾‍😢. I said everything was okay, I lied 😩😩

After that resignation, next point was to dig valleys and started to reside in them. All this was not subconsciously done. It reached a point where I became so unworthy and unfit & had to stop attending Sunday services. I literary avoided my church friends. For a period of about 7 months, almost everyone I met talked of how “lost” I have been not asking why. And next instant question was how business was doing, Inversk. See, people are only concerned about what you do and never about you 😭

For all that time,, only two people reached out and sincerely asked about my spiritual health. This is despite having hundreds of church friends. Friends whom we lead and fellowshipped together. Including reverends. Everyone was concerned about how’s Inversk was doing.

See, I introduced Inversk to my friends and they fell so much in love with it that they forgot about me 😢. Each time we meet, it was a time for me to share a brief.

That’s why I hate titles, I hate being referred by any title – Founder, CEO or whatever, all that is meaningless. Titles don’t produce value and I’ not always what I do. Just call me Kim and I’ll be good. At least that’s the name my mum and dad gave me.

I also regret going to the media. The media puts so much high standards for you so that everyone believes you are indomitable. Every young entrepreneur will agree to this. It is good for business but extremely bad for personal health.

And that on friends, is one of the dangers of building a business in public. I don’t regret it though👌🏾

Things have been so tough, tight and thin. To some point I thought I was insane 🤦🏾‍♂ But its extremely good to be on the trenches and hit the rock bottom. Because today, right now, I can feel my real self. The real Kimani Patrick is back. 😇

But before this moment,, I’ve been so lost, hurt and insecure. And during all these, I did hurt so many of my friends and family.

So how have I decided to overcome this?

#First:
I had to reconnect with myself. I have had to ask for forgiveness from myself. That sounds crazy but I needed it. Friends,, I had to confess to myself all the wrong decisions that I’ve done and ask for forgiveness. And I had to forgive myself unconditionally.
👌🏾

#Second:
Reconnecting with God. He is my creator and He owns me. I had to ask for deliverance from all bad things and restoration of the lost love I had for my creator. And I have submitted afresh to Him. So when I say I’ve let God rule my life, it means I have given Him the control to every thing in my life 🙏🏾

#Third:
Starting on a new journey. This one entails re-configuring my lost hopes and aspirations and speaking life to my own being. It means thinking beyond myself, believing myself once again and getting clear about my purpose, vision, mission, goals, aspirations, expectations and daily activities. Its about getting clear about my priorities on a daily basis.🙏🏾

#Fourth:
No one achieves anything alone. Building bridges. Fourth thing is about making a bold and deliberate decision to build bridges. Each day, I am and will continue reaching out and reconnecting with everyone in my life that I’ve had a difference, misunderstanding or unaccomplished transaction. This is the hardest of all decisions. I need grace, patience and complete resilience to accomplish this.

But God is on my side 😇

Winding up:
Friends, trust me when I say that no one can ever criticize a person with anxiety or depression more harshly than they criticize themselves. I’ve done all that and for close to two years I’ve been my own worst critique.

And if you are one of the millions of people who feel lost because of depression or anxiety, know that the unexplained loneliness you feel doesn’t mean that you are alone – you are unique in how you feel. Seek help, it is not for the weak.

Jesus is also calling you: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” Mathew 11:28-30

And if you read this to the end, don’t be sympathetic about my situation. That was then and this is now, I’m great and in need of no consolation. Also don’t call or DM showing that you care, I don’t need that!!

Here’s what I suggest, take a reality check on your own life, are you happy? 😇